Not the best day today. I feel off in every way, shape, and form.
I've just been feeling down. I find myself loathing everyone and everything. I haven't felt this miserable in a while - and it was pretty nice to be honest. I got too used to it.
I feel awful about my body and it's taking everything I have in me to eat. I just keep telling myself that these term papers can't be written without proper nourishment. The scales and etude for my jury can't possibly be memorised and I can't learn course material for exams without properly nourishing my body. Maybe that's where part of the stress is coming from - all that I have to do. I fucking hate November. Too much to do before the end of the term, and usually this is when it begins to snow - and it has. I hate snow.
My neighbours are driving me insane. My room is basically in their apartment so I can hear one of those bitches stomping around all the time. If they're going to be up late - so am I because everything they do is amplified in my room. I am tired and miserable and want to curl up in a fucking ball and do nothing. Worse is I have to go home in a month. I hate it there. The only reason I want to go home is to see my sisters. I am pretty excited about that though.
I don't know what I'm doing with my life and I don't think I want to know. I'm tired of trying to figure it out and getting nowhere - or more confused if I manage to get anywhere. I would rather hide away somewhere and forget that this shit show circus of a world exists. I don't want to be a part of it anymore. I'm sick of this shit. Over it. Beyond done.
Fuck this.
Sorry for the woe is me, but jesus fucking Christ. This is bull shit.
