AUSOM party

I was so nervous for this. I didn't want to go and wasn't going to originally, but when I woke up the morning of I decided that I would go. It turned out to be the best idea I've had in a while!!


Every year my school holds the SAMMYS - like the grammys but AUSOM (Acadia U School Of Music) style. There are different awards that can be won by being nominated for like best smile, miss/mr. congeniality, most likely to be found in the lounge etc. It is a formal event that is normally in the music building but because the term has been so screwy it just turned into a semi-formal house party. I have never gone to this before because in first year I was really struggling with my eating disorder (in fact I was probably at the gym for the nth hour that day..) and last year I went home. This year I was here, healthy and wanted very  much to go. There were some things that were holding me back however:

• I don't have any formal attire. Over the summer as one of my homework assignments in therapy was to throw out all of the clothes that reminded me of/I associated with my eating disorder. This included all clothes that only fit when I was a certain size and clothes that made me feel bad when I wore them. Which was all of my formal wear. I found out later that not a lot of people were getting dressed up which then left the next issue...
• Without missing a beat ED came into the picture. "You are going to do something really stupid" "Just do everyone a favour and stay home" "No one even wants you to be there anyway" ... this definitely made me not want to go. When I found out that one of my friends was going we decided to go together - this made me feel a lot more comfortable and confident. Megan has known about my eating disorder for quite sometime now and has been a wonderful support. It made me feel good knowing that she was going to be there with me; this made me calm and able to focus on the now - in that sense she was like my anchor.

Me and Megan at the party

It was a wonderful night with lots of people and music. I even made some new friends! This is very difficult for me, and I'm glad that I was able to meet some really cool new people! I needed a night of just fun after a hard term, it was so nice to kick back with a few drinks and some great friends... It was even worth the hangover yesterday!


Till next time,


Steph