It's Been a While

My bad...


I've been so busy with school it's insane. Fortunately Mother Nature was kind enough to bless me with a snow day which has been a catch up day for me. One of the things to catch up on is this!


So as I mentioned I'm swamped with school. Between studying, practicing and trying to find time to eat it's been wild. It's good and bad at the same time. On one hand since I'm so exhausted all the time, making meal plans slips my mind often. Then I sleep in and forget to pack anything for the day which leads me to have to buy food on campus which is expensive, annoying, unhealthy (sometimes) and never consistent. One day they have some things and other days they're out, so planning is almost impossible -_- In that sense it's bad and rather stressful.


On the other hand, I've managed to keep busy enough where ED can't enter my mind as often as he does because I'm simply worrying or panicking about something to do with school and my upcoming recital. As much as it sucks to be so anxious about school, it's nice to have a sort-of-break from ED for a while. Don't get me wrong, the little shit still manages to follow me around, but I at least get a break for a couple hours here and there


The Recital...


Was supposed to be today, but we are in the middle of a blizzard here in the east coast so it was cancelled. For my solo piece I am playing the most difficult piece I have ever learned here at Acadia. Needless to say I am nervous as all hell. The snow day was a bit of a blessing as I think another couple of days to get it under my fingers was much needed. I will be taking full advantage of this over the next week and a bit.


That said, since I'm on campus for 10 plus hours a day I don't remember to make meal plans, and I keep sleeping in because this year is definitely catching up to me. As a result I end up rolling out of bed and running to school without lunch.. or maybe an apple or something I can grab from the fridge quickly, which is not enough for a 10 hour day. I then need to go to the SUB and get something to eat which has consisted of a wide variety of foods including fried foods (EEEK!), veggies, sandwiches and various other to-go foods.

Even eating veggies can make me feel awful. It might be because convenience foods and such I had always associated as being unhealthy. Realistically speaking they are unhealthy for your wallet, but not necessarily your health depending on what you get - and veggies are definitely not bad for your health!


Sometimes when I wear certain shirts I feel bad or walk by a mirror and feel disgusted. Then ED goes "Oh my god those fries you had yesterday did that!!!!". I fight back the tears and think "ED SHUT UP! I don't have time for your shit my recital is in a week!!"


Usually that can buy me a couple of hours of class time or practice time. I am so nervous for this recital but I'm excited for it as well. This will be the first recital I have performed in that I am completely healthy and happy (basically). ED is not the biggest part of my life and I'm not frail and tired and dreading this recital. I will be healthy and happy and ready to show all of my friends the hard work that I've put in to learn this piece. That's what I keep thinking when ED started yelling at me. I just keep reminding myself why I am doing this; why I went and ate food that I wasn't entirely OK with. It's all because of school and health.


I probably won't be blogging regularly over the next couple of weeks because of the recital coming up, but I will do my best. There will definitely be a post about the recital though, I promise :)

Till next time,


Steph