Compliments

How do you receive a compliment that you don't think is true or sincere? How do you say "thank you" to a compliment you think was only made to spare your feelings or hide the truth?


I have been faced with this dilemma for years. Most days I can't stand at least a few things about myself - and that consequently gets blown up into many things. So when, for example, I hear "your hair looks nice" I automatically think "oh no! is the hairspray wearing off? is it falling out of the ponytail?" ect... you get the picture..


I generally smile and say "thank you!" or if it's someone I am very comfortable with I can get goofy and say "d'aw shucks! you're so sweet!!" in the weirdest voice I can think of. Don't ask why, I think it's a security thing. And an excuse to act like a total idiot.


I go to parties where someone will tell me I look nice and then see the pictures the next day and wonder if they weren't telling the truth. Maybe the lighting was off or it was later in the night when my makeup was wearing off, but there is always something that I don't like about myself that stands out to me in that picture. Then I wonder how obvious it is to other people - which then brings me to wonder whether or not the compliment was sincere or simply to spare my feelings.


I am getting better at accepting compliments and believing they are genuine. I remember there was a time that any compliment was a clear sign that that particular person was looking out for my feelings. Every. Single. One.


Now I am getting better at seeing them for what they are - compliments.


Lately I haven't been doing too well with this, but I am really trying. I keep doing my therapy exercises and going over the facts in my head - the real facts, not the ones that ED tells me.

That's the trick - figuring out the difference between ED and reality. I'm getting the hang of it, but even after three years I still have trouble with it sometimes