The Novel

Well I wasn't lying. I haven't posted in quite some time, so there is a novel ahead.


I'm sitting in my room at school reflecting on the summer that has passed. I have made leaps and bounds in my recovery and I couldn't be more excited! The summer was filled with all kinds of adventures and triumphs.


The wedding;


I attended a wedding in the last part of August. This was my cousins wedding that was ever so exciting. I wore a dress that was strapless which was a cause of much angst and worry for quite a while. When I saw it in the store I fell in love with it. I wanted to try it on, and as soon as I did I looked in the mirror I heard "Oh my god look at that arm fat!!!" "Have fun hiding those man-shoulders in that!!" It was really hard to say yes to the dress after hearing all that, needless to say.
Alas, I ended up purchasing it. If I loved it before I put it on, there is no reason to not love it on me too. Picking a dress isn't about finding one that makes you look good - it's about finding something that you can relate to and showing everyone else. Style is like make-up; it's art that you get to wear!


Then came the dinner. This time a year ago I would've been mortified at the very thought of eating a pre-picked prepared meal that I had to eat in front of people. I no doubt would've cut out most, if not all, grain servings that day for fear that the caloric value of the dinner would be greater than my daily grains combined. I would've obsessed over weather or not the people at the table with me had noticed my portion sizes and weather or not they would comment on it. "Am I eating too much?? Not enough?? How much is just the right amount so that no one will notice my plate?? I just don't want anyone to say anything!!" I then would've obsessed over the fact that I ate the dinner at this certain time, so I hope that I could stay up and do enough activity so that my body could burn it all off. Maybe dance? Maybe just drink and forget about it. But wait!!! How many extra calories are in the alcohol I would be drinking!?!?!?!


Ugh, it's exhausting.


I'm proud to say that I didn't think any of those things when the time came. It was just about having fun and celebrating the bride and groom on their special night. I ate as much as I needed to keep energised and enjoy the evening with some amazing people. No more, no less. The thing was that if that's what my body needed, than that's what my body needed. If I needed more I would crave more - and I didn't, so my body was satisfied. Simple as that.






pic from the wedding

The food adventures

This has been a summer filled with MANY different adventures. I have eaten so many different fear foods that I never could've imagined I would and I'm incorporating them into my every day now! I am eating half of the stuff that I wouldn't even be in the same room as a year ago!! I have my lovely sisters and friends to thank for that. The support that I received was absolutely incredible - I honestly couldn't ask for a better support system.


I have become more assertive than I ever thought I could be. No more being a push-over for this girl!


I got my full drivers licence! I never could've done that with ED. When I was really effected by ED I couldn't focus on anything or even stay awake for very long, making me a danger on the road. I knew that I needed to be well nourished for my test to be able to fully pay attention and get pass my test - and I did!


Things look like they're finally turning around, and I think it's going to be a great year!

This didn't turn out to be as long as I had intended. I guess that's what happens when it takes you two months to write a post. Eventually (like right now) I get tired of constantly adding to it and thing - to hell with it - and post it. Oh well,


Till next time,


Steph