So I figured that it was only a matter of time before ED came back. It's like he read my last post and got pissed off or something... I thought I had finally just about gotten rid of him for good, but he's back with a vengeance.
It is not as horrible as it has been before - I can still sort of function. Last weekend I had forgotten to plan out my week in advance, so it threw me off completely. When I don't have things planned, I get really anxious and on edge. This was the case this week. I have done what I can, but it is hard because it's not a nice feeling to have - and ED certainly isn't helping.
Lately I have looked in the mirror and heard "OH MY GOD THAT'S DISGUSTING!!!". Sometimes when I'm walking I can hear "Do you feel that? That's your thunder thighs TOUCHING!!!!" Now when I go to eat a sweet treat I can hear "Are you sure you really need that????"
I've been feeling kind of down because of this combination of events. I'm trying to stay positive, but man it gets hard. Since I haven't been able to practice a lot lately (because I didn't book any practice rooms on time for this week) that's been giving ED a lot of amo as well; "You sound like shit! You don't belong here if you can't even practice your main instrument!"
It's like FUCK OFF!! seriously!!!! UGH I'm tired of this shit -_-
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